Sometimes everything lines up.
A burnout, the beginning of autumn, a failed payment reminder email and a deleted server. As usual, I kinda write this kind of message without thinking.
Some of you have met me or known me for 17 years.
I have been taking care of AyuAngel for 17 years, half of my life, and he has come to be a part of me.
I always thought it was just a question of organization, willpower and luck too. I was right and so wrong.
Sometimes life arranges to remind you that nothing is set in stone. You get to do the things you love, not the way you want, halfway, and then it becomes a pressure, a frustration. Why do this to yourself?
I’ve been through it here, I’ve met amazing people, people who have become friends and with whom today I can still talk with passion and superlatives about Ayumi over a beer.
I could have finished this text without talking about her so much, it no longer occurs to me to explain or justify the love I have for her. Yes, Love.
I love her as I could love a friend or a lover. The love who allows to understand the ups and downs, disappointments and anger, which brings joy and meaning.
What matters to me is not what she really is, but what we share. And what we share is love: this love that we give her that made her stand on stage and that allows her to continue to fight, this love that she gives me and that ‘allowed me to assert myself, to express myself, to grow.
AyuAngel was a part of that love, and if today it closes its doors, I know that for me and for you, there are still a thousand and one ways to live it.
It has been an immense joy to come this long way with you, AyuAngel and all that we have been through are forever engraved in my heart, thank you very much.
As I write these last words, I still doubt, I am afraid and I am sad, but I know now is the time.
We will surely meet again.